If you’re considering EMDR therapy or about to start, you might have questions about what actually happens in a session. While you may know a bit about EMDR, understanding how it works in practice can help you feel more prepared.
It’s normal to feel unsure about what to expect. This article will walk you through what happens in a session and how we work together to guide the process safely.
By the time we start processing in EMDR therapy, we have discussed your options, developed a treatment plan, and chosen which target memory to start with. A target memory is one that we’ve put on a list to process.
How Do We Start EMDR Processing?
We start by bringing to mind an image of the worst part of the target memory. For example, if I had a disturbing memory of finding a snake in a hole when I was rock climbing abroad, the worst part might be the moment I suddenly saw it move.
Connecting to the memory activates the emotion. The connection to emotion is key to processing, which is why the preparation phase is so important – it helps ensure you feel ready to manage strong emotions when they arise.
Next, we identify the negative thought or judgment you have about yourself that you associate with the memory. This is often about feeling unsafe, powerless or responsible in some way. Then, we define what the flip side would be. This gives us a clear direction for processing.
We also label the emotion and rate how disturbing the memory feels on a scale from 0 (not disturbing at all or neutral) to 10 (the highest disturbance you can imagine). Then, we begin the reprocessing phase.
A common metaphor for EMDR processing is a train on a journey. We know where we’re starting, and we know where we want to get to (towards a new positive belief), but we don’t know exactly which route the train will take. Noticing a past memory in EMDR is like watching scenery pass by outside the train window – you’re not in it anymore, you’re just watching it roll or flick past.
What Does the EMDR Therapist Do?
I use a light tube that moves a spot of light left and right, and you follow it with your eyes. This is a form of bilateral stimulation, which helps the brain process memories.
We do a set of eye movements, then pause for a brief check-in. A set might last about 30 seconds or a minute, but it can be longer or shorter – I adjust this based on what I notice, and I’ll also give you control over when we pause.
When we pause, I’ll ask, “What are you noticing now?”
You don’t need to explain or analyse – just say a few words about what you’re seeing, thinking, or feeling in that moment.
Then I’ll say something like, “Notice that,” which simply means continuing with another set of eye movements and noticing what happens from there.
At times, I might ask you to notice where you feel sensations in your body, or I might guide you to bring awareness back to the therapy room and the present moment.
We’ll process as much as we can in the session, and then we’ll wind down carefully so that you leave feeling more settled.
What to Expect in EMDR Therapy
With bilateral eye movements, we expect the starting image to change. This can happen quickly, or it might take a few sets. The image is usually a launch point that helps your mind connect to other parts of the memory. People often describe seeing a video replay, a series of flickering images, or shifting perspectives.
Often, the first set brings a wave of strong feelings as the mind reconnects with the memory. The intensity of these feelings usually comes down quickly.
This might seem strange, but we trust that your mind knows where to go to connect things and resolve the stuck memory.
You can think of processing as networks of neurons (brain cells) connecting—linking different parts of your brain involved in memory.
The memory network pulls together fragments, connecting them with new thoughts and insights. This is what allows you to make sense of the past and see it from a different perspective. Sometimes, that perspective is recognising you did your best or realising you couldn’t have possibly known how things would turn out.
So, when we say, “Let your mind go where it wants to,” we’re asking you to simply notice what happens as your mind makes connections.
Sometimes, a memory might get more vivid initially. You might notice more detail, then see it from a different angle. Eventually, it might become harder to picture. It’s also common to hear things that were said or feel sensations from the event—this is because memories contain all these sensory elements.
As processing continues, the disturbing aspects of the memory subside. We keep going until the memory feels neutral—or as neutral as possible. This means you no longer feel it in your body when you bring it to mind. This might take several sessions.
What Am I Supposed to Do During EMDR?
We ask you to simply notice what happens. While following the light with your eyes, you’re just observing whatever your mind brings up.
To keep processing moving, we don’t talk much at this stage. I’ll ask for brief feedback when we pause to check in, just a few words about what you’re seeing, feeling, or thinking. This helps me understand how things are shifting and how to best support you.
If nothing changes for a while, you can simply say it’s the same. I might ask about certain details to help keep things moving.
If your mind wanders off track, we can bring it back. If it goes somewhere you don’t want to, we can bring it back. You can stop at any time—you’re in control.
Let it roll – EMDR is “Weird”
This is something I often hear from my clients—and it’s been my experience too!
The human mind is complex. You’ve had countless experiences, many of which you might not even remember or have considered relevant to therapy. But alongside the difficult memories, there’s also a wealth of positive, adaptive information stored in your memory network. EMDR connects you with these resources.
Clients are often surprised by what comes up for them. They feel relief as difficult feelings subside. They feel safer, and once a memory is fully processed, it truly feels like it’s in the past.
What If I Can’t Cope with EMDR?
While we can’t predict exactly what will come up for you in EMDR, we work together to make sure it feels safe before we start. This is why the preparation phase is so important.
You need to feel ready to proceed. It can take a leap of faith in yourself—and in your therapist—to ‘go there’ to painful memories.
A good working relationship with your therapist means you won’t have to manage difficult emotions alone. If you’re worried about anything, it’s important to bring it up so we can address it together. And if it doesn’t feel like the right time to continue, we won’t.
How Do We Know When to Finish an EMDR Session?
Processing a target memory can take several sessions. In each session, we’ll do as much as we can, then take time to wind down so that you leave feeling settled.
Through our preparation work, we’ll have strategies in place to help you regulate emotions and feel grounded before you go. On the day, we’ll choose what works best for you.
Final Thoughts
EMDR is a structured, supportive process, and we’ll navigate it together. It’s normal to feel unsure or even nervous about what to expect, but we take it one step at a time.
If you’re already working with me and have any questions, just ask—we’ll talk things through so that you feel prepared. And if you’re considering EMDR and want to explore whether it’s right for you, feel free to get in touch.